"Who do you think you are anyway?"
Hola
For many years I've been asked that question.
I sometimes describe myself as the product of a mixed marriage. My father was Mexican and my mother was a Chicana. Growing up during the 1960's it was not easy being socially concious and culturally confused.
Maybe if I had been fully accepted as just another kid in my Catholic grammar school I would not have felt different but I wasn't My mother was always painfully aware of rascism in society. Unfortunately in her situation, her answer to discrimination was to take a low profile and not stand out at all. As an ambitious loud mouthed kid who wanted to fully participate in things; that was not what I had in mind.
As a kid I dreamed of being an astronaut etc but the nuns soon told me "Mexicans don't become astronauts" and bottom lien I didn't' feel any connection to wearing the American flag. I thought I might be an astronaut for Mexico but that didn't go over very well.
As I grew up I found the most severe critics of Mexicans and therefore Chicanos were indeed Mexican Americans.
I discovered a long time ago that Mexican Americans hate Mexican immigrants. (I will write more about this but let's continue.) So when I realized I was Mexican and not American and not "White" I tried hard to understand what it was to be "Mexican".
Of course I could barely speak Spanish so it was hard to identify with Mexicans. My mother spoke Spanish but was obsessed with her children learning English and speaking it properly. That rejection of Spanish stigmatized all things Mexican and to this day I can not properly roll my " r r 's ". The shame of it all!
So I grew up culturally confused. Yes, and high school was still ahead.
For many years I've been asked that question.
I sometimes describe myself as the product of a mixed marriage. My father was Mexican and my mother was a Chicana. Growing up during the 1960's it was not easy being socially concious and culturally confused.
Maybe if I had been fully accepted as just another kid in my Catholic grammar school I would not have felt different but I wasn't My mother was always painfully aware of rascism in society. Unfortunately in her situation, her answer to discrimination was to take a low profile and not stand out at all. As an ambitious loud mouthed kid who wanted to fully participate in things; that was not what I had in mind.
As a kid I dreamed of being an astronaut etc but the nuns soon told me "Mexicans don't become astronauts" and bottom lien I didn't' feel any connection to wearing the American flag. I thought I might be an astronaut for Mexico but that didn't go over very well.
As I grew up I found the most severe critics of Mexicans and therefore Chicanos were indeed Mexican Americans.
I discovered a long time ago that Mexican Americans hate Mexican immigrants. (I will write more about this but let's continue.) So when I realized I was Mexican and not American and not "White" I tried hard to understand what it was to be "Mexican".
Of course I could barely speak Spanish so it was hard to identify with Mexicans. My mother spoke Spanish but was obsessed with her children learning English and speaking it properly. That rejection of Spanish stigmatized all things Mexican and to this day I can not properly roll my " r r 's ". The shame of it all!
So I grew up culturally confused. Yes, and high school was still ahead.
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